"FLARED BASES, people. Good lord. We had a sex educator come to my college once upon a time who expounded that thoroughly. She also said that if it doesn't have a flared base, your ass will suck it up like a vacuum and you will not be happy. Scared the metaphorical stuck sex toy right outta me, I tell you. But that was a ladies-only event, so it wouldn't have helped this guy... also it was in English not Mandarin."